Hello boys and girls, once again it's time for Mr. Smith educational post. And today we are doing history lesson!
Did you know that sex toys have been around for over 35,000 years? You wouldn't think it, but some of today's most popular styles of sex toys were actually designed centuries ago. However, what was once made of stone and goats eyelids is now made from much more body friendly options. With that said, there have been 35,000 years for people to come up with some weird things. Sure we've mastered the vibrator, dildo and cock ring, but people get bored, people get weird and after awhile the old tried and true just isn't going to cut it anymore. Thanks to these moments, there is a whole slew of strange sex toy inventions out there--some funny, some scary and some just terribly impractical. Check out this list of the top five weirdest sex toys you can find on the market today. (And no, I DO NOT have these at home. YET.)
The Dildo Gas Mask:
Does your partner have a fishy odor problem? No worries, this dildo gas mask can allow the two of you to have uninhibited fun in the bedroom. Forget about needing a shower, just put on the gas mask and go to town.
This must have been designed with the BDSM community in mind, but it's just strange. The best part is it's labeled as waterproof. Did you want to snorkel and plug away at the same time? No problem, the dildo gas mask has you covered.
The Foot Fetish Fleshlight:
There are foot fetishes and then there are real foot fetishes. Sure you can enjoy the way a woman's foot looks in a high heel or you can enjoy a little foot play intermingled in your foreplay, but have you ever had the desire to just ram yourself into the base of a foot? If so don't worry, someone else had the same urge and came up with the foot fetish fleshlight.
This baby looks like an amputated foot and comes complete with a fleshy hole on the sole. Just lube yourself up and plug away. And in case you were wondering, the toes come painted pink.
The Inflatable Cushion Vibe:
Have you ever wanted to go sledding, tubing or float down a lazy river while getting rocked from underneath? Yeah? Awesome. You're in luck because you can now get your jollies while sitting on top of a inflatable donut. Reminiscent of a hemorrhoid pillow, this beauty just needs to be blown up and then turned on (that's what she said?). All you have to do is lower on to it and hold on for dear life.
While I don't think you could actually ride this in a lazy river, you could totally go tubbing with it. The Inflatable Cushion Vibe even comes with handles on the side you can get a good grip.
The Pussy Snorkel:
Going down on your girl can be hard some times. Things get a little messy and breathing can cause you to lose your place, pace and rhythm. Put an end to your struggles by getting a Pussy Snorkel. The Pussy Snorkel lets your partner know that you won't let anything come between you and their pleasure. Just strap on this plastic tube apparatus and get to it.
The website even says it's good for underwater playtime. However, if you look closely, it looks like it would fill up with water immediately and if they aren't going to supply googles to go with it, it simply doesn't count.
The Oral Sex Light:
This toy and aid can be worn in conjunction with the Pussy Snorkel. Never again will have to suffer from not seeing every ridge, curve and hair follicle in your partner's nether region. Why turn on the lights when you can go splunking in true style?
The Oral Sex Light is worn like a Bluetooth headset and can allow you to look like a sexy customer service representative. Lower your electric bill by never turning on the lights again!
Which one of these amazing toys are you going to get next? But for reals, with so many weird things out there doesn't it just make you want to get something a little more normal, friendly and usable? While all these toys are fun and all, I like to stick to Adam and Eve for my staples. But don't worry, if you're still looking for something with a little edge, you can pick up a few discrete toys. These fun little buzzers are made to look like lipsticks and rubber ducks. Now no one has to know that you like to get down!
And btw, no need to thank me if you guys are having some good times after read this article. You guys are always wel-cum.
Mr.Smith, this is as far as I can help, sorry no product tutorial for now. ;)
Did you know that sex toys have been around for over 35,000 years? You wouldn't think it, but some of today's most popular styles of sex toys were actually designed centuries ago. However, what was once made of stone and goats eyelids is now made from much more body friendly options. With that said, there have been 35,000 years for people to come up with some weird things. Sure we've mastered the vibrator, dildo and cock ring, but people get bored, people get weird and after awhile the old tried and true just isn't going to cut it anymore. Thanks to these moments, there is a whole slew of strange sex toy inventions out there--some funny, some scary and some just terribly impractical. Check out this list of the top five weirdest sex toys you can find on the market today. (And no, I DO NOT have these at home. YET.)
The Dildo Gas Mask:
Does your partner have a fishy odor problem? No worries, this dildo gas mask can allow the two of you to have uninhibited fun in the bedroom. Forget about needing a shower, just put on the gas mask and go to town.
This must have been designed with the BDSM community in mind, but it's just strange. The best part is it's labeled as waterproof. Did you want to snorkel and plug away at the same time? No problem, the dildo gas mask has you covered.
 |
| This is not an elephant mask. |
There are foot fetishes and then there are real foot fetishes. Sure you can enjoy the way a woman's foot looks in a high heel or you can enjoy a little foot play intermingled in your foreplay, but have you ever had the desire to just ram yourself into the base of a foot? If so don't worry, someone else had the same urge and came up with the foot fetish fleshlight.
This baby looks like an amputated foot and comes complete with a fleshy hole on the sole. Just lube yourself up and plug away. And in case you were wondering, the toes come painted pink.
 |
| I hope user don't wish to find this on their partner's real foot. |
The Inflatable Cushion Vibe:
Have you ever wanted to go sledding, tubing or float down a lazy river while getting rocked from underneath? Yeah? Awesome. You're in luck because you can now get your jollies while sitting on top of a inflatable donut. Reminiscent of a hemorrhoid pillow, this beauty just needs to be blown up and then turned on (that's what she said?). All you have to do is lower on to it and hold on for dear life.
While I don't think you could actually ride this in a lazy river, you could totally go tubbing with it. The Inflatable Cushion Vibe even comes with handles on the side you can get a good grip.
 |
| This actually looks kinda fun no? |
The Pussy Snorkel:
Going down on your girl can be hard some times. Things get a little messy and breathing can cause you to lose your place, pace and rhythm. Put an end to your struggles by getting a Pussy Snorkel. The Pussy Snorkel lets your partner know that you won't let anything come between you and their pleasure. Just strap on this plastic tube apparatus and get to it.
The website even says it's good for underwater playtime. However, if you look closely, it looks like it would fill up with water immediately and if they aren't going to supply googles to go with it, it simply doesn't count.
 |
| You might not look good but it sure feels good no? |
The Oral Sex Light:
This toy and aid can be worn in conjunction with the Pussy Snorkel. Never again will have to suffer from not seeing every ridge, curve and hair follicle in your partner's nether region. Why turn on the lights when you can go splunking in true style?
The Oral Sex Light is worn like a Bluetooth headset and can allow you to look like a sexy customer service representative. Lower your electric bill by never turning on the lights again!
 |
| Star light star so bright. |
And btw, no need to thank me if you guys are having some good times after read this article. You guys are always wel-cum.
Mr.Smith, this is as far as I can help, sorry no product tutorial for now. ;)