What does it mean to be a "good parent"? Are we ever ready to be a "good parent"? Is it about education? Is it about bringing home the bacon? Is it about providing a path for them to become who they want to be when they eventually know what they want?
My brother has taught me a lot about life and I will always remember what he told me when I asked him about how he actually managed being a dad of 3. How do you even know what to do? When did you know you were ready to be a dad?
"You will never know. You will never be ready. Every child wants different things from you and you can never be the best dad. The only way you can find out is to actually jump in and enjoy the ride. It might be a crazy one but I am telling you, it is one fulfilling ride."
Truth is I never wanted kids. I love kids, I like to play with them, I like the idea of having my legacy passed on but the stress of nurturing and protecting someone scares me. A lot. Call me selfish but there's a lot that I want to do in life that I've yet to do. I want to be the best version of myself, I want to see the world, and I want to do things I want when I want to. I do not want that commitment.
So how did baby Seth came along? Nope. It's not an accident but my wife convinced me into having a child and yes, indeed the ride has been a crazy but enjoyable one. Seth never fails to put a smile on my face regardless of how long and tiring the day was. I mean until the point he starts crying or pooping all over. LOL.
My mum has 3 kids. My elder brother, me, and my little sister. She had little to offer in terms of formal education as well as money but she always gave us everything. When I said everything I really do mean everything. She gave up her own dreams, she gave up all her time and money, she gave us everything she ever had, and all she ever wanted is to make us happy. Not successful, not rich, not powerful, but she just wants us to be happy. Happy is a simple word but yet at the same time complicated. When do we know when we are happy? Where do we even set our bar of being happy? My mum ain't perfect but she tries. Fun to her is a concept she has never experienced. She doesn't travel, she doesn't buy branded stuff, in fact she doesn't even buy anything for herself. All she ever does is to invest every single cent she earned on us. From education to protection. She always makes sure we are never hungry, and she make sure we don't feel like we are in anyway lesser as compared to our peers. She constantly does what she can to make us feel protected and happy.
She sold us her brand of happiness which till date I can never fully feel it. The meaning of being content. 知足常乐 as how she always put it. I'm bad at that. I'm very bad at that. I'm ambitious, I never stop, and sometimes that can be bad because I am never truly satisfied with what I have.
I can't stop. I started business, I ended them, I started more again, and I invest my money hoping to grow more money which doesn't always work out. I could have been in a MNC and enjoy a stable income and be the small general in a big country but I want to be the king of my own country. (I've to thank my business partner's dad for this analogy.) I always want to go the extra mile, and doing enough is never enough for me. I guess that's the reason why being a parent is so tough for me because I feel that just providing financially or spending time with your child is not enough.
I want to be the best version of me so my son is proud of me. (I know I say this rather often but this is truly what I believe!) I want my son to be proud of everything I am doing. I want my son to be happy with me both as a dad and a person. We can never prepare enough for a child, but we can certainly protect them for the future. Don't just prepare them, protect them. (And ya, nobody is going to ever bully my son in the school. Sorry future teacher of my son but nobody is ever going to touch him or else I will take things in my own hands if I have to. You have been warned. :x)
Simply put it, I want to be the very best like no one ever was. (I bet you are singing this in tune)
It's a tall order and it adds a lot of stress but a little stress keeps us going isn't it?
Here's one pro tip.
One of the first decisions I made for Seth the moment I knew we were expecting was actually to get him insured. I'm big on insurance not just for him but also for myself. Remember my broken ankle? (If you don't remember, you just have to look at my body and how much weight I've gained and you will see the "product" of it.) Everything was covered. Based on a research study from the Life Insurance Association (LIA), an average working Singaporean would require at least S$626,000 to meet their Protection needs. This means an average Singaporean should aim to have approx. 10 times of their annual earnings as a basic life cover. At the same time, health care costs have increased over recent years. One needs to be adequately covered against life uncertainties.
Tokio Marine’s TM Term Assure: Aims to cover mainly working adults and parents TM Term Assure can help to bridge that gap. If you are between 25 to 35 years old, you can have half a million-dollar coverage against death, terminal illness and total and permanent disability with a 5-year TM Term Assure plan, for less than S$1 a day. It is so affordable! Should something happen to you (CHOY CHOY CHOY), you and your family will receive a lump sum payout of S$500,000.
What about your child?
KidAssure GIO Rider: Covers your child against 24 medical and hospitalisation conditions. What I like about this rider is that you receive a refund of 80% of the annual premiums when your child reaches the age of 19 years old. As a parent, you can choose to boost your children’s protection coverage through Tokio Marine’s KidAssure GIO Rider. The rider can be easily added to your TM Term Assure basic plan (yup! even the most basic plan) or other TM’s insurance plans, and coverage can be extended for up to 3 children (answering government's calling for giving birth to more!) within the same policy. Your child will be covered for 16 common child related medical conditions such as Severe Asthma, Leukaemia and Severe Autism. At the same time, the rider also covers for 8 other hospitalisation conditions. Should your child be hospitalised due to these conditions such as Burn; Choking; Dengue Fever; Hand Food & Mouth Disease; Measles; Pulmonary Tuberculosis; Rabies or even Zika, you will receive a payout. The rider is designed for children between 1 to 10 years old and coverage is till 19 years old. The first of its kind, you will receive a refund of 80% of the total annual premiums paid for the rider when your child reaches 19 years old. Coverage is affordable and as little as S$1 a day for a rider sum assured of S$50,000; you can enjoy that peace of mind. Best of all? Guaranteed acceptance with no medical underwriting required.
Example of refund of 80% of the total annual premiums paid for the rider
A child who is 6 years old. His annual premium is S$350 for a rider sum assured of S$50,000. His premium payment is ONLY 5 years. The total premium paid will be S$1,750, and when the child reaches age 19, you will receive S$1,400 which is refund of 80% of the total annual premiums paid for the rider. Net outlay is just S$350 for coverage of 13 years.
What does that means in simpler English? It means you just have to pay for 5 years and the coverage for your child is till 19 years old!
Everyone will be happy to know that they are protected right?
Here's a video by Tokio Marine which I thought is really heart warming. Reminded me so much of my own journey almost a year ago! :')
Here's a video by Tokio Marine which I thought is really heart warming. Reminded me so much of my own journey almost a year ago! :')